A week ago, my Aunt Norma passed away at her home, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. She was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme in late March and was given a prognosis of 6-8 weeks. According to Wikipedia, glioblastoma has the worst prognosis of any central nervous system malignancy, despite the many modes of treatment. And, while the general prognosis is poor, with a median survival rate of approximately 14 months, Norma exceeded her prognosis by over two months.
In the time between her diagnosis and death, several songs and prayers have provided solace and comfort to me. One song, in particular, I listened to often and sang to my Aunt in her last days with us. It's called "Lord of all hopefulness" by Jan Struther
Lord of All Hopefulness
lyrics: Jan Struther, 1901-1953
Lord of all hopefulness, Lord of all joy,
Whose trust, ever childlike, no cares can destroy,
Be there at our waking, and give us, we pray,
Your bliss in our hearts, Lord, at the break of the day.
Lord of all eagerness, Lord of all faith,
Whose strong hands were skilled at the plane and the lathe,
Be there at our labors, and give us, we pray,
Your strength in our hearts, Lord at the noon of the day.
Lord of all kindliness, Lord of all grace,
Your hands swift to welcome, your arms to embrace,
Be there at our homing, and give us, we pray,
Your love in our hearts, Lord, at the eve of the day.
Lord of all gentleness, Lord of all calm,
Whose voice is contentment, whose presence is balm,
Be there at our sleeping, and give us, we pray,
Your peace in our hearts, Lord, at the end of the day.
One of my Aunt's last gifts to us was bringing our family back together after years of separation, and I'll forever be grateful to her for that. I love you and miss you, Auntie Norma. Rest in eternal peace.
August 12, 2011
July 16, 2010
Life altering event
16 July 2010
Ke'o is now just a little over 7 months old and the past 5 months have really flown by. I'm disappointed with myself for not being more diligent about documenting his progress lately, but it is, as they say, better late than never.
Ke'o and I completed a 9 week basic obedience course, which he passed...by one point. I'm still a proud momma, though. He's learned how to sit, lie down, stay, come, shake hands, high-five, roll-over, bring it (fetch) and leave it. I'm such a proud momma :)
Today, I took Ke'o to the vet to get neutered, microchipped, and have his remaining puppy teeth removed. I was wracked with guilt and anxiety as I waited for the vet to finish with his procedure. I felt horrible for putting my sweet little guy through pain and resulting discomfort. It felt unfair... why should I be the one to decide whether or not his genetic material gets passed on? I felt a growing knot form in the pit of my stomach. I started to hyperventilate. I cried. I felt ridiculous.
It's been a rough day. For him, more than me, I daresay, but he can't talk so I'll speak for us both. He isn't sitting or lying down for more than 45 minutes, probably because the pressure that sitting or lying down puts on that area is causing him major discomfort. So, he ends up standing. I've never seen a dog fall asleep standing up, but I think I may tonight.
The biggest guilt inducing trigger for me right now is when Ke'o looks at me with his sad, sad eyes as if to ask me "What happened to me? Why does my body hurt? I don't understand what's going on..." Proud momma? Not so much today.
Ke'o is now just a little over 7 months old and the past 5 months have really flown by. I'm disappointed with myself for not being more diligent about documenting his progress lately, but it is, as they say, better late than never.
Ke'o and I completed a 9 week basic obedience course, which he passed...by one point. I'm still a proud momma, though. He's learned how to sit, lie down, stay, come, shake hands, high-five, roll-over, bring it (fetch) and leave it. I'm such a proud momma :)
Today, I took Ke'o to the vet to get neutered, microchipped, and have his remaining puppy teeth removed. I was wracked with guilt and anxiety as I waited for the vet to finish with his procedure. I felt horrible for putting my sweet little guy through pain and resulting discomfort. It felt unfair... why should I be the one to decide whether or not his genetic material gets passed on? I felt a growing knot form in the pit of my stomach. I started to hyperventilate. I cried. I felt ridiculous.
It's been a rough day. For him, more than me, I daresay, but he can't talk so I'll speak for us both. He isn't sitting or lying down for more than 45 minutes, probably because the pressure that sitting or lying down puts on that area is causing him major discomfort. So, he ends up standing. I've never seen a dog fall asleep standing up, but I think I may tonight.
The biggest guilt inducing trigger for me right now is when Ke'o looks at me with his sad, sad eyes as if to ask me "What happened to me? Why does my body hurt? I don't understand what's going on..." Proud momma? Not so much today.
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